Paragraph One : Atmosphere
The Atmosphere, this is the first sphere that I am gonna talk about and all about it's affect to other spheres. One Explaining :The Atmosphere is our most needed supplies because we need Oxygen for us to breath, and also the Atmosphere contains many kinds of air there are Carbon Dioxide, Sulfur and etc. and any kinds of air. Here are the four layers of the Atmosphere the first one is the Troposphere it contains a lot of air and it can extends about 30-40 something miles [ I might be wrong ]. The second one is the Stratosphere It's one of the lowest sphere and it extends about 50 miles, The Stratosphere also provides protection to us because sometimes there are chunks of meteors exploding form space and all of the meteors slightly go to Earth so that's when the Stratosphere stops them before they get to Earth and destroys us all{ That would be terrible and horrible I know that for sure if the meteors hit us. } moving on to the third layer of the Atmosphere called the Mesosphere it extends about 400 miles and it starts to have thin air there and on the lowest layer of The Mesosphere contains the Ionosphere The Ionosphere contains a lot of electricity and other stuff that contains electricity and if you touch one of the electrics you might be like Dr. Binocs { sorry that was a joke } The lucky last one is the Thermosphere, In the Thermosphere there are thin bit of air and that is the last layer of our Atmosphere [ I don't know if i want to float in the Thermosphere because I might not breath and die floating at space imagine that]
Two Explaining : so the Atmosphere includes all air and has four different layers. [ So yeah, I learnt a lot of Atmosphere and I am not quite sure if there are other things I should add ]
Paragraph Two : Biosphere
The Biosphere, this is the second sphere that I will talk about i will also include all about it's affect to other spheres like the Atmosphere. One Explaining : The Biosphere is a sphere that we call life or living things in ancient greek time they call it Bio stands the word for life. [ sounds interesting ] Moving on to the second thing that it can do/affects to other sphere
Daniel, this is a really good piece of draft. I enjoyed reading your introduction and can't wait to read more. Please make sure you re-read your paragraphs and add punctuation like full stops in your first paragraph.
ReplyDeleteDaniel - what a great start. All writing is about communicating... so anything that you can do to support the reader is always helpful.You are trying to explain something pretty complex... can you think of other ways in which you could help your reader understand the ideas you are explaining rather than just words? What could you add to your text to help make your explanation clearer?
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